Out
there in the cold water, far from land, we waited every night for the
coming of the fog, and it came, and we oiled the brass machinery and
lit the fog light up in the stone tower. Feeling like two birds in
the gray sky,
McDunn and I sent the light touching out, red, then white, then red
again, to eye the lonely ships. And if they did not see our light,
then there was always our Voice, the great deep cry of our Fog Horn
shuddering through the rags of mist to startle the gulls away like
decks of scattered cards and make the waves turn high and foam.
"It's a lonely life, but
you're used to it now, aren't you?" asked McDunn.
"Yes," I said. "You're
a good talker, thank the Lord."
"Well, it's your turn on land
tomorrow," he said, smiling, "to dance the ladies and drink
gin."
"What do you think, McDunn,
when I leave you out here alone?"
"On the mysteries of the
sea." McDunn lit his pipe. It was a quarter past seven of a cold
November evening, the heat on, the light switching its tail in two
hundred directions, the Fog Horn bumbling in the high throat of the
tower. There wasn't a town for a hundred miles down the coast, just a
road which came lonely through dead country to the sea, with few cars
on it, a stretch of two miles of cold water out to our rock, and rare
few ships.
"The mysteries of the sea'
said McDunn thoughtfully. "You know, the ocean's the biggest
damned snowflake ever? It rolls and swells a thousand shapes and
colours, no two alike. Strange. One night, years ago, I was here
alone, when all of the fish of the sea surfaced out there. Something
made them swim in and lie in the bay, sort of treаmbling and staring
up at the tower light going red, white, red, white across them so I
could see their funny eyes. I fumed cold. They were like a big
peacock's tail, moving out there until midnight. Then, without so
much as a sound, they slipped away, the million of them was gone. I
kind of think maybe, in some sort of way, they came all those miles
to worship. Strange. But think how the tower must look to them,
standing seventy feet above the water, the God-light flashing out
from it, and the tower declaring itself with a monster voice. They
never came back, those fish, but don't you think for a while they
thought they were in the Presence?"
I shivered. I looked out at the
long gray lawn of the sea stretching away into nothing and nowhere.
"Oh, the sea's full."
McDunn puffed his pipe nervously, blinking. He had been nervous all
day and hadn't said why. "For all our engines and so-called
submarines, it'll be ten thousand centuries before we set foot on the
real bottom of the sunken lands, in the fairy kingdoms there, and
know real terror. Think of it, it's still the year 300,000 Before
Christ down under there. While we've paraded around with trumpets,
lopping off each other's countries and heads, they have been living
beneath the sea twelve miles deep and cold in a time as old as the
beard of a comet."
"Yes, it's an old world."
"Come on. I got something
special I been saving up to tell you."
We ascended the eighty steps,
talking and taking our time. At the top, McDunn switched off the room
lights so there'd be no reflection in the plate glass. The great eye
of the light was humming, turning easily in its oiled socket. The Fog
Horn was blowing steadily, once every fifteen seconds.
"Sounds like an animal, don't
it?" McDunn nodded to himself. "A big lonely animal crying
in the night. Sitting here on the edge of ten billion years calling
out to the Deeps, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. And the Deeps do
answer, yes, they do. You been here now for three months, Johnny, so
I better prepare you. About this time of year," he said,
studying the murk and fog, "something comes to visit the
lighthouse."
"The swarms of fish like you
said?"
"No, this is something else.
I've put off telling you because you might think I'm daft. But
tonight's the latest I can put it off, for if my calendar's marked
right from last year, tonight's the night it comes. I won't go into
detail, you'll have to see it yourself. Just sit down there. If you
want, tomorrow you can pack your duffel and take the motorboat in to
land and get your car parked there at the dinghy pier on the cape and
drive on back to some little inland town and keep your lights burning
nights, I won't question or blame you. It's happened three years now,
and this is the only time anyone's been here with me to verify it.
You wait and watch."
Half an hour passed with only a
few whispers between us. When we grew tired waiting, McDunn began
describing some of his ideas to me. He had some theories about the
Fog Horn itself.
"One day many years ago a man
walked along and stood in the sound of the ocean on a cold sunless
shore and said, 'We need a voice to call across the water, to warn
ships; I'll make one. I'll make a voice like all of time and all of
the fog that ever was; I'll make a voice that is like an empty bed
beside you all night long, and like an empty house when you open the
door, and like trees in autumn with no leaves. A sound like the birds
flying south, crying, and a sound like November wind and the sea on
the hard, cold shore. I'll make a sound that's so alone that no one
can miss it, that whoever hears it will weep in their souls, and
hearths will seem warmer, and being inside will seem better to all
who hear it in the distant towns. I'll make me a sound and an
apparatus and they'll call it a Fog Horn and whoever bears it will
know the sadness of eternity and the briefness of life.'"
The Fog Horn blew.
"I made up that story,"
said McDunn quietly, "to try to explain why this thing keeps
coming back to the lighthouse every year. The Fog Horn calls it, I
think, and it comes...."
"But - "I said.
"Sssst!" said McDunn.
"There!" He nodded out to the Deeps.
Something was swimming toward the
lighthouse tower.
It was a cold night, as I have
said; the high tower was cold, the light coming and going, and the
Fog Horn calling and calling through the raveling mist. You couldn't
see far and you couldn't see plain, but there was the deep sea moving
on its way about the night earth, flat and quiet, the colour of gray
mud, and here were the two of us alone in the high tower, and there,
far out at first, was a ripple, followed by a wave, a rising, a
bubble, a bit of froth. And then, from the surface of the cold sea
came a head, a large head, dark-coloured, with immense eyes, and then
a neck. And then - not a body - but more neck and more! The head rose
a full forty feet above the water on a slender and beautiful dark
neck. Only then did the body, like a little island of black coral and
shells and crayfish, drip up from the subterranean. There was a
flicker of tail. In all, from head to tip of tail, I estimated the
monster at ninety or a hundred feet.
I don't know what I said. I said
something.
"Steady, boy, steady,"
whispered McDunn.
"It's impossible! "I
said.
"No, Johnny, we're
impossible. It's like it always was ten million years ago. It hasn't
changed. It's us and the land that've changed, become impossible.
Us!"
It swam slowly and with a great
dark majesty out in the icy waters, far away. The fog came and went
about it, momentarily erasing its shape. One of the monster eyes
caught and held and flashed back our immense light, red, white, red,
white, like a disk held high and sending a message in primeval code.
It was as silent as the fog through which it swam.
"It's a dinosaur of some
sort!" I crouched down, holding to the stair rail.
"Yes, one of the tribe."
"But they died out!"
"No, only hid away in the
Deeps. Deep, deep down in the deepest Deeps. Isn't that a word now,
Johnny, a real word, it says so much: the Deeps. There's all the
coldness and darkness and deepness in a word like that."
"What'll we do?"
"Do? We got our job, we can't
leave. Besides, we're safer here than in any boat trying to get to
land. That thing's as big as a destroyer and almost as swift."
"But here, why does it come
here?"
The next moment I had my answer.
The Fog Horn blew.
And the monster answered.
A cry came across a million years
of water and mist. A cry so anguished and alone that it shuddered in
my head and my body. The monster cried out at the tower. The Fog Horn
blew. The monster roared again. The Fog Horn blew. The monster opened
its great toothed mouth and the sound that came from it was the sound
of the Fog Horn itself. Lonely and vast and far away. The sound of
isolation, a viewless sea, a cold night, apartness. That was the
sound.
"Now," whispered McDunn,
"do you know why it comes here?"
I nodded.
"All year long, Johnny, that
poor monster there lying far out, a thousand miles at sea, and twenty
miles deep maybe, biding its tune, perhaps it's a million years old,
this one creature. Think of it, waiting a million years; could you
wait that long? Maybe it's the last of its kind. I sort of think
that's true. Anyway, here come men on land and build this lighthouse,
five years ago. And set up their Fog Horn and sound it and sound it
out toward the place where you bury yourself in sleep and sea
memories of a world where there were thousands like yourself, but now
you're alone, all alone in a world not made for you, a world where
you have to hide.
"But the sound of the Fog
Horn comes and goes, comes and goes, and you stir from the muddy
bottom of the Deeps, and your eyes open like the lenses of two-foot
cameras and you move, slow, slow, for you have the ocean sea on your
shoulders, heavy. But that Fog Horn comes through a thousand miles of
water, faint and familiar, and the furnace in your belly stokes up,
and you begin to rise, slow, slow. You feed yourself on great slakes
of cod and minnow, on rivers of jellyfish, and you rise slow through
the autumn months, through September when the fogs started, through
October with more fog and the horn still calling you on, and then,
late in November, after pressurizing yourself day by day, a few feet
higher every hour, you are near the surface and still alive. You've
got to go slow; if you surfaced all at once you'd explode. So it
takes you all of three months to surface, and then a number of days
to swim through the cold waters to the lighthouse. And there you are,
out there, in the night, Johnny, the biggest damn monster in
creation. And here's the lighthouse calling to you, with a long neck
like your neck sticking way up out of the water, and a body like your
body, and, most important of all, a voice like your voice. Do you
understand now, Johnny, do you understand?"
The Fog Horn blew.
The monster answered.
I saw it all, I knew it all - the
million years of waiting alone, for someone to come back who never
came back. The million years of isolation at the bottom of the sea,
the insanity of time there, while the skies cleared of reptile-birds,
the swamps dried on the continental lands, the sloths and
saber-tooths had their day and sank in tar pits, and men ran like
white ants upon the hills.
The Fog Horn blew.
"Last year," said
McDunn, "that creature swam round and round, round and round,
all night. Not coming too near, puzzled, I'd say. Afraid, maybe. And
a bit angry after coming all this way. But the next day,
unexpectedly, the fog lifted, the sun came out fresh, the sky was as
blue as a painting. And the monster swam off away from the heat and
the silence and didn't come back. I suppose it's been brooding on it
for a year now, thinking it over from every which way."
The monster was only a hundred
yards off now, it and the Fog Horn crying at each other. As the
lights bit them, the monster's eyes were fire and ice, fire and ice.
"That's life for you,"
said McDunn. "Someone always waiting for someone who never comes
home. Always someone loving some thing more than that thing loves
them. And after a while you want to destroy whatever that thing is,
so it can't hurt you no more."
The monster was rushing at the
lighthouse.
The Fog Horn blew.
"Let's see what happens,"
said McDunn.
He switched the Fog Horn off.
The ensuing minute of silence was
so intense that we could hear our hearts pounding in the glassed area
of the tower, could hear the slow greased turn of the light.
The monster stopped and froze. Its
great lantern eyes blinked. Its mouth gaped. It gave a sort of
rumble, like a volcano. It twitched its head this way and that, as if
to seek the sounds now dwindled off into the fog. It peered at the
lighthouse. It rumbled again. Then its eyes caught fire. It reared
up, threshed the water, and rushed at the tower, its eyes filled with
angry torment.
"McDunn!" I cried.
"Switch on the horn!"
McDunn fumbled with the switch.
But even as he flicked it on, the monster was rearing up. I had a
glimpse of its gigantic paws, fishskin glittering in webs between the
fingerlike projections, clawing at the tower. The huge eye on the
right side of its anguished head glittered before me like a caldron
into which I might drop, screaming. The tower shook. The Fog Horn
cried; the monster cried. It seized the tower and gnashed at the
glass, which shattered in upon us.
McDunn seized my arm.
"Downstairs!"
The tower rocked, trembled, and
started to give. The Fog Horn and the monster roared. We stumbled and
half fell down the stairs. "Quick!"
We reached the bottom as the tower
buckled down toward us. We ducked under the stairs into the small
stone cellar. There were a thousand concussions as the rocks rained
down; the Fog Horn stopped abruptly. The monster crashed upon the
tower. The tower fell. We knelt together, McDunn and I, holding
tight, while our world exploded.
Then it was over, and there was
nothing but darkness and the wash of the sea on the raw stones.
That and the other sound.
"Listen," said McDunn
quietly. "Listen."
We waited a moment. And then I
began to hear it. First a great vacuumed sucking of air, and then the
lament, the bewilderment, the loneliness of the great monster, folded
over and upon us, above us, so that the sickening reek of its body
filled the air, a stone's thickness away from our cellar. The monster
gasped and cried. The tower was gone. The light was gone. The thing
that had called to it across a million years was gone. And the
monster was opening its mouth and sending out great sounds. The
sounds of a Fog Horn, again and again. And ships far at sea, not
finding the light, not seeing anything, but passing and hearing late
that night, must've thought: There it is, the lonely sound, the
Lonesome Bay horn. All's well. We've rounded the cape.
And so it went for the rest of
that night.
The
sun was hot and yellow the next afternoon when the rescuers came out
to dig us from our stoned-under cellar.
"It fell apart, is all,"
said Mr. McDunn gravely. "We had a few bad knocks from the waves
and it just crumbled." He pinched my arm.
There was nothing to see. The
ocean was calm, the sky blue. The only thing was a great algaic stink
from the green matter that covered the fallen tower stones and the
shore rocks. Flies buzzed about. The ocean washed empty on the shore.
The next year they built a new
lighthouse, but by that time I had a job in the little town and a
wife and a good small warm house that glowed yellow on autumn nights,
the doors locked, the chimney puffing smoke. As for McDunn, he was
master of the new lighthouse, built to his own specifications, out of
steel-reinforced concrete. "Just in case," he said.
The new lighthouse was ready in
November. I drove down alone one evening late and parked my car and
looked across the gray waters and listened to the new hom sounding,
once, twice, three, four times a minute far out there, by itself.
The monster?
It never came back.
"It's gone away," said
McDunn. "It's gone back to the Deeps. It's learned you can't
love anything too much in this world. It's gone into the deepest
Deeps to wait another million years. Ah, the poor thing! Waiting out
there, and waiting out there, while man comes and goes on this
pitiful little planet. Waiting and waiting."
I sat in my
car, listening. I couldn't see the lighthouse or the light standing
out in Lonesome Bay. I could only hear the Horn, the Horn, the Horn.
It sounded like the monster calling.
I sat there wishing there was
something I could say.
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